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Massage Etiquette: 10 Do's and Don't's of Getting a Massage

7/24/2015

84 Comments

 
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Back in May, I posted a blog about things that people may get embarrassed about that their massage therapist won't judge.  With any new experience it can be hard to know how to act or what to expect, and while there are a lot of things that you shouldn't worry about, there are certain niceties that really should be exercised.  

Below you will find a list of do's and don't of getting a massage.  If you have not followed them to this point, have no fear.  All behavior and information is new to us at some point.  The point is to not continue behaviors that may be seen as rude or unhelpful.  Most of these are not things that people do out of malice, which is why I try not to encourage shame, but rather educate for future exchanges.  

1.  DO communicate
If you don't like something, you have to let me know in order for it to change.  Don't be afraid to speak up about things like techniques, music, heat, etc.  If I have the table warmer on and you are hot, let me know to turn it off.  If you are still hot, let me know to remove the blanket.  If you feel pain, absolutely let me know!  Pain is NOT a normal part of a massage, but rather your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and needs to be changed.  You will not feel better afterward if you are injured on a massage table.  People think this is the case because they start to feel better a few days afterward, but are you really feeling better than you did before you had your massage, or are you feeling better than you did just afterward because you healed from the injuries that were caused?  Most likely the latter.

*A note on pressure.  I know that people like to comment on the pressure.  Pressure is starting to become a dirty word for me.  I have had clients who want a painful massage because they have been told that it is the only way for good work to happen.  Your tissue will let me know if I should apply more pressure.  There is a natural give and a natural endpoint.  Forcing past those endpoints will get you that pain the you seem to want, but it will also damage your tissue, and injure me.  Every massage therapist is different, but I generally go to the endpoint through most of the massage.  The goal is to have the endpoint change.  So your tissue won't let me in very deeply at first, so I work with what it will allow until it softens and melts and lets me in further.  Asking for "more pressure" will honestly not get you very far with me.  Here is a post about the difference between a deep tissue massage and a deep pressure massage.
Clock
2.  DON'T show up late (or too early)
Your massage time begins at the time that you are scheduled.  I encourage new clients to arrive 15 minutes early for paperwork and intake, and returning clients to arrive about 5-10 minutes early for a brief verbal check in with enough time to use the restroom if need be and get on the table to begin on time.  I very much want for you to have the amount of time on the table that you booked, and in order to do that, it is important that you arrive on time.  If you walk in the door at 12:00 for your 12:00 appointment, the massage won't begin until 5-10 minutes into your scheduled appointment time.  To get the most out of your time, try to arrive at the time suggested by the establishment.

I have found that when I encourage people to arrive 15 minutes before their appointment, they will come in anywhere from 45 minutes early to 15 minutes late.  Neither of these is appropriate.  I would much prefer someone show up early than late, but if you arrive early, the room may not be set up, and the last client may still be on the table.  This might be alright if you are going to a spa where you can sit in a relaxation room sipping tea or to an office that you are familiar with, but if it is your first appointment at a place you have never been to, make sure showing up 30-45 minutes early is ok.  My office is very small.  The front room where you fill out intake forms doesn't have much room, but works just fine when it is just me and a client.  Adding another person can make it cramped and make for an awkward feeling.  Very recently I had a new client show up 30 minutes early while my previous client was still on the table.  I had already left the treatment room and was allowing her to get dressed when the new client arrived.  When my first client came out of the treatment room, there was no place for her to sit down as we went over payment, making her feel rushed and uncomfortable.  I had also promised to give her the card of someone I was referring her to, but was not able to do so, nor was I able to give her some self care tips after her session.  I respect the privacy of each of my clients, and so was not able to talk with her about her session in front of a complete stranger.  I also respect confidentiality which could not be kept under the circumstances.  My office is a good size for one client and one therapist.  It is a small private practice office, and I schedule my clients 30 minutes apart for that reason.  By showing up so early, the new client not only made me feel rushed to get the room turned over, but more importantly made my other client feel uncomfortable.

When you arrive late, it is annoying to me, but you are honestly doing more of a disservice to yourself.  Your massage is done at the end of the scheduled appointment time.  That means that if you book a 60 minute massage, show up 10 minutes late, take 5 minutes to fill out your paperwork and another 5 to do oral intake and get on the table, you are now 20 minutes into your hour before I even touch you.  That means that your 60 minute massage has become a 40 minute massage.  I will not inconvenience my next client who may show up 15 minutes early as instructed by going 20 minutes over on your time.  You blocked out an hour on my schedule, I promise to be there and to work to the best of my abilities during your hour, but when your hour is up, your massage is done regardless of when you got on the table.  I used to be more lenient about this, but found that I was being expected to inconvenience others due to someone else's lateness.  Since then, I have made the policy above, and stick to it.

3.  DO use proper terminology
There are a number of terms that are outdated and may be found offensive by many therapists.  I understand that most of these terms are still the ones that you hear on television, and that you may not be aware that they are offensive.  I know massage therapists who will get upset over the terminology, but I prefer to acknowledge that the person using them was not doing so out of malice, and will try to educate them on the proper terminology and explain why we use it.  This terminology is what is used in the United States.  In many other countries they still use terminology that has changed here.  Some common terms are:

  • Massage therapist NOT masseuse- A massage therapist is a licensed professional who has gone through a good deal of education and training in order to provide you with a therapeutic massage.  A masseuse is often untrained and unlicensed and provides services more fitting to a brothel than a spa.

  • Table NOT bed-  Again, we are trying to set ourselves apart from the sex industry.  By asking clients to undress and lie on the table under the sheet, we are setting a more clinical tone.  Asking a client to undress and get on the bed under the sheet sets a different kind of tone.

  • Massage clinic, practice, spa, or office NOT massage parlor-  A clinic, office, spa or practice sounds professional and suggests healing and relaxation.  A massage parlor is where you go to lie on a bed and see a masseuse.
No Smoking!
4.  DON'T smoke before your appointment
If you are a smoker, I understand that it can be hard to go without smoking as it is highly addictive.  That being said, I encourage you to try to refrain from smoking before your massage in order to protect the health and wellbeing of your massage therapist as well as any other clients.

I will admit that this one is a sore spot for me.  I am actually highly allergic to some of the chemicals in cigarette smoke, and have had allergic reactions to clients on my table before.  When you smoke, you are taking in any number of toxins and poisons.  Your body recognizes that they are harmful and tries to get rid of them by any means possible, meaning that the toxins from your cigarettes literally seep out of your skin.  Whenever you touch another person, you are passing on all of the toxins from your cigarettes to the other person.  Please don't endanger my health by smoking before your session.  Smoke is something that a fair number of people have a sensitivity or allergy to, and the smell can stick around for a while before it dissipates.  I like for my treatment room to smell clean, and none of my clients should have to walk into a massage room smelling of cigarette smoke.

5.  DO turn off your cell phone
It is so obnoxious to be giving (or receiving) a nice relaxing massage only to hear text messages, calls, and alarms going off.  Putting it on vibrate is often not enough.  When you are lying on the table and hear that buzzing in your purse, you automatically tense up.  You get out of that space of relaxation and are suddenly wondering who is calling or texting.  Now there is something happening on your phone and you don't know what it is.  Just turn your cell phone off.  It will not hurt you to go 60-90 minutes without communicating with the world.  Take the time for yourself rather than worrying about what other people want from you.  If you need to keep your cell phone on due to being on call or having a family emergency, let me know.  Otherwise, turn it off.
leg drape
6.  DON'T be a "helper"
When you are on the massage table, try to relax your body.  I know this is hard for a lot of people.  If you have trouble letting go, at least try not to actively "help" your therapist.  Yes, I will be placing the bolster under your ankles or knees, and yes, I will need to lift your arms and legs to do draping, but I promise that I am more than capable of lifting your leg.  Occasionally I have a client who will jerk their arms and legs up in an attempt to assist with the draping or bolstering.  Just the other day I nearly got kicked in the face by a client who was anxious to help me drape her leg.  This was a first time client with me who had received a lot of massage before.  I got the impression that she knew what was coming next and wanted to help by lifting the appropriate limb.  When you try to help your therapist in this way, you are actually creating more work for them, and risk hitting or kicking them in the process.  It is much easier to lift a limp leg than one that is being lifted for you.  If I am having trouble getting you into a certain position, I will ask for your assistance.  If I do not ask, just try to relax and enjoy the massage.  I should be the one doing the work, not you.

foot massage
7.  DO have good hygiene
Please make sure that you are relatively clean when you show up to your massage.  Try to have clean feet, nails, hair, and skin in general.  Remember that you are asking someone else to touch you.  Before coming in ask yourself if you would want to touch you.  

Over the years, I have seen people of many different hygiene levels come in for a massage.  Please do your therapist a favor and clean up or rinse off if you need to.  The worst cases of poor hygiene tend to occur with the feet, nails, hair, and behind ears, but I have seen people who have come in off the beach, from mowing the yard, or who just don't seem to have bathed recently.  Not only is this disrespectful to me as I will be massaging you, but it is disrespectful of my clean workspace.  I have worked in places that didn't seem to care much about cleanliness, but my office is not one of those.  There is often not time between clients to sweep and vacuum the floors which may have dirt, mud, sand, yard clippings, or more tracked in by someone who didn't rinse off before their session, so please don't track them in in the first place.

8.  DON'T bring in artificial fragrances
As a courtesy to future clients, please only wear lotions, creams, or sprays which are unscented or lightly scented with essential oils.  Each massage therapist will have their own preferences for products that they use on clients, and I use a lot of aromatherapy with natural base oils and essential oils.  These are generally light and natural and few people have trouble with them.  As with many natural aromas, the scent of the oils generally has time to dissipate before the next client enters the room.  If you choose to bring in your own lotion or oil to use, make sure it is unscented or scented only with essential oils.

Please do not spray or apply products with artificial fragrances in the massage room.  Many clients have allergies or sensitivities to artificial fragrances, and the fragrances take much longer to dissipate than natural aromas.  This means that if you spray your perfume in the office before you leave, or wear a fragranced lotion during your massage that seeps into the warmer or padding on the table, another client may have a negative reaction, and you could make their massage very uncomfortable for them.
sick
9.  DO stay home if you are sick
This is for your protection and my own.  Getting a massage while sick can make you feel worse by pushing the illness through your body more quickly.  Fever is also a contraindication for a massage, meaning that you should not receive massage if you have one.  Also, please try to remember that I touch people for a living.  I can't go to work if I am sick, so please don't share your illness with me.  Like many other businesses, I have a 24 hour cancellation policy resulting in a fee if ignored.  If you call me to let me know that you can't come in due to illness, I will not charge the fee.  This is just my policy, and may not apply to other establishments.

10.  DON'T even joke about sex!
Just don't.  It's not funny, it's offensive.  I don't need you telling me that you have a big tip for me if I want to earn it, and I don't want to hear about your "injury" that caused "scar tissue" on your scrotum.  Yes... I have heard both of these before, and more.  If you intentionally touch or grope me during your massage, that is sexual assault.  It is not funny, and certainly not appropriate.  I also don't want to hear your jokes about happy endings and massage parlors.  Keep them to yourself.  Do not tell me you are ready for your massage and have me walk into the room to find you sitting or lying face up on the table stark naked after I instructed you to start face down under the sheet.  You should always be UNDER the sheet.  The best case scenario for you here is that I end the massage, and you have to pay for your whole session regardless of when it ended.  The worst case scenario is that I call the police and press charges for sexual assault, indecent exposure, solicitation, etc.  Just don't.
So there you have it.  Ten do's and don't's to remember when going in for a massage.  I wrote this article in first person because it is based on my preferences.  Many of these tips are universal to all or most massage therapists, some are more important to me, or only relevant to people who operate out of spaces similar to mine.  I can only tell you what I have observed in my own experience.  
84 Comments
Sheila Kulycky
8/1/2015 02:06:33 pm

This was a very informative post. It really helps one to understand the point of view of the massage therapist. I appreciated not only what you said, but how you said it. Your tone was pleasant and professional.

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Amanda
8/1/2015 05:10:12 pm

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading!

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Laura
3/28/2016 10:29:11 pm

Very helpful. Thank you. I went for my 1st massage a week ago and I think I followed all of the rules. I'm so glad.

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safedome link
2/19/2020 03:11:49 am

The best thing about the receiver is that the connection is established seamlessly without disturbing the normal functioning of the phone

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Christe link
4/27/2016 09:59:03 pm

This is a beginners guide, people who haven't had a massage therapy and wanted to try for the first time, should read this. i would really recommend this @http://myotherapycollege.com/ clinic. On the other hand, the format is lil bit confusing, i suggest all Do's should be put together same as the Don'ts. THANKS

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Sue BROWN-ard
5/17/2018 10:06:01 am

I have Fibro and lots of trigger points.
I have had several deep tissue massages in the past with very little pain the next day.
Yesterday I had a hour massage and today I am in so much pain.
I wonder if it is because she used only a tiny amount of oil or because
I have had a very bad bout with Neuropathy and have lost most of my muscles due to inactivity

D

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best tablets for comics link
2/21/2020 12:44:36 am

This Sanwa throat mic is really cool, we bought them for paintball. My neck is kind of small so if I don’t press it together it doesn’t pic up what I’m trying to say very well. I might have to come up with a way to make it tight around my neck.

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Issiah
8/18/2016 01:32:53 am

Hi, question!!!! is it OK to massage the body if you have a lack of sleep?!

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Amanda link
8/18/2016 09:31:15 am

Hi Issiah,

Are you referring to the therapist or the client. Both are ok I suppose, but it is best to be awake and alert as a therapist. Is it dangerous? No. But it also isn't preferable.

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Issiah
8/19/2016 03:48:07 am

Hi Amanda,

Thank You for you time responding to my inquiry.

I am referring to the client, example; if I were to have a schedule for a massage and I lack on sleep is it bad for me or is it OK?! and what is the best suggestion for this?

Amanda link
9/27/2016 11:52:50 pm

Hi Issiah,
For some reason, I have been unable to reply to your reply on my comment. There is generally no harm in receiving a massage with a lack of sleep. It is not unusual for people to fall asleep during massages, and most therapists are used to it.
I have clients who don't like to fall asleep because they feel that they are missing the massage, so for one client I have who likes to chat and has expressed that she does not like to fall asleep on the table, if I see she is dozing off, I ask her a question so that she talks for a little while, and that is enough to keep her awake most of the time. I have talked about this with her, and know that she is ok with me doing that. I have other clients who if I notice them dozing off and know they don't want to, I will do some different strokes that are a bit more energizing. If you are worried about falling asleep and not feeling like you have experienced the massage, just let your therapist know ahead of time that you are very tired, but to wake you up by one of these means if they notice you starting to drift off. If you aren't worried about it, just let yourself fall asleep. The therapist can still do good work, and will wake you up (hopefully gently) when the massage is over or it is time to turn over, or if they need feedback from you.

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Carl
9/9/2016 04:30:06 pm

Thank you for your website. With neck and back problems, massage therapy has been my saviour for many years. I hope you can help with a ticklish situation with a new therapist who is very, very good.

At my third session with neck problems, I expected her to continue working on my neck. I believe she misunderstood my directions for something sexual and kept my on my stomach for the entire hour inflicting a lot of pain. What can I say to her at the next session to correct this situation or should I simply cancel and find someone else?

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Shay
9/27/2016 08:56:22 pm

I have been searching the Internet looking for massage therapists that feel like I do. I agree with your statements and have found them to be agreed upon across the board. One thing in particular that DRIVES me CRAZY as a professional that no one has mentioned yet and is probably the thing that bothers me the most. Hairpieces! Please, please, please... Do NOT wear them to your session. It is trying, difficult and awkward to work "around" them. We want to give you the best session possible and to do that we need unconditional access to your person (in areas of massage). Hairpieces make it very difficult to access head, neck and upper back resulting in a lesser massage experience for the client and creating frustration for the therapist.

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Amanda link
9/27/2016 11:45:03 pm

I don't really mind the hair pieces as much. I ask about it on my intake form, so I know going in if there is anything that I need to work around. If you feel that the hairpiece will impede your work, ask if they are willing/able to remove it. If not, just inform them that it will limit some of the work you will be able to do in certain areas. I do not perform scalp massage if someone is wearing a hair piece, and may modify some other techniques depending on how large it is or what areas it covers. For many people who wear hair pieces due to hair loss, it can be a source of deep embarrassment, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around others without it on. If this is the case, their discomfort at being without it may impede your ability to do good work just as much. The same can be said about people who wear hair pieces to achieve a certain look. They become a crutch much like with people who cannot leave the house without shaving their legs or putting on a full face of makeup. Although you may or may not view this as a good excuse, it is important to remember that it may be a source of comfort to them. I do not perform scalp massage if someone is wearing a hair piece, and may modify some other techniques depending on how large it is or what areas it covers.

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Dawie
10/4/2016 02:06:51 am

Good day as a male i do wear somthing more comfterble than normal underwear like a thong / male G string if i go to a full body massage do i have the right to wear them and should i infom anyone before the massage starts about my underwear that i wear to avoid discomfort ?. Thank you

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Amanda link
10/4/2016 10:07:58 am

Hi Dawie,
Most massage therapists won't be thrown by your choice of undergarment. If you would prefer to inform them, or if they seem a bit new to the field, when they tell you to undress to your comfort level you can mention it, but you don't have to. You have the right to wear anything that makes you comfortable during a massage as long as you wear it underneath the sheet/towel that they use as a drape. Mens underwear can be a bit difficult for therapists to work around. My guess is that your massage therapist will appreciate not having to try to shift a pair of boxer briefs (the worst!) around.

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Dawie
10/4/2016 02:28:19 am

And if i go to a full body massage and get an erection due to sensitivity (no sexual intensions) what is the proper way to go about this situation and to handle it as profesional as possible.

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Amanda link
10/4/2016 10:38:21 am

Hello again Dawie,
This is an excellent questions. Anyone who has been to massage school (as all massage therapists are legally required to do) will have prepared for this scenario in ethics class, so you are not likely to shock your therapist, and they should understand that it is perfectly natural for some men to get an erection during a massage without intending anything sexual. The important thing is to not behave in a sexual manner, which it sounds like you don't. Don't make sexual jokes about it, and don't masturbate or start to encourage the erection. If you know that you are prone to erections, you can let your therapist know about it before hand "I am a bit sensitive around my ___, and tend to get erections when people work there." When you have an erection, your therapist may address it or may not. If your therapist does not address it and you are uncomfortable or feel like they are, you can say something like "This happens sometimes. I'm not in control of it." Many therapists are able to pick up on intention behind something like that and will continue on with their work. They will often change what they are doing or move to a different area of the body to change the type of stimulation, or they may suggest turning you over to lie face down. If they do not do this themselves, you can suggest it. Just say something like "Perhaps we have worked there enough for now" or "can we move on to something else?" If the therapist was unsure of your intentions, this will generally reinforce that you are not in control of it, have not misinterpreted their work, and do not mean them any harm (the rates of clients sexually assaulting their massage therapists is tragically high). Each therapist will handle this situation in a different way, and if you know this is a common occurrence for you, I would highly recommend mentioning it before your session.

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Dawie
10/5/2016 03:20:15 am

Thank you for you detailed info on those matters . There is one more thing that i need to ask , do thay allow couples to go into a sauna together and how do thay keep track on what goes on inside a sauna room , dont get me wrong but things can get hot in there if a couple goes in to the sauna room together . How do thay now what happens inside a sauna roomas i have read inside a newspaper artcle that it is a private sauna . Thank you for understanding.

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Amanda
10/5/2016 12:53:41 pm

Dawie,

At my practice, I do not have a sauna and I do not offer couples massages. I know that there are many more spa type places where they do both of those things, and the truth is that there isn't a whole lot of policing that goes on, and what does will vary from establishment to establishment.

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Amanda
10/5/2016 02:17:13 pm

Sorry, client came in and I accidentally sent that reply before I finished it. Because there isn't a whole lot of policing of the saunas, it is often on the honor system, however I think I can feel comfortable speaking for other massage establishment owners when I say that we expect people to be respectful of our business and to understand that we could face strict penalties if it is found that anything like that is going on on the premises. Also be aware, that having sex at someone's business establishment could very easily get you kicked out and banned if you are caught, and depending on local laws charges could even be pressed.

Adolf Hotson
11/17/2016 01:10:59 am

I loved your article. In my practice as a massage therapist I have learnt that there are quite a number of things that a therapists will want their clients to do or not to do. And you have really highlighted them so well. Additionally massage therapy will have greater benefits when done appropriately it is therefore very important that anyone who is looking for a therapist should actually stick with an expert. To find an expert massage therapist look out for the credentials including certifications and professional training background. Also find out if th therapist is registered and if they have an insurance cover.

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Dawie
12/1/2016 12:05:44 am

Good day once again Amanda i just want to ask what is the diffrence between a normal massage and a body to body massage , and is a body to body massage legal as it does't sound like it , maby you can give me more info on this tipe of massage , thank you for understanding.

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Amanda link
4/19/2017 10:38:37 am

I have never heard of a body to body massage, but upon reading about it, it sounds like something that would definitely be illegal.

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Dawie
12/1/2016 06:29:07 am

Just another question if i may , as i went for my full body massage the lady said that i must undress to my comfort level , does that mean i can go nude ? As she has never said anything about keeping my underwear on , may i then go nude without any underwear , as i know thay use drapping to cover up , do i as client have the right to go nude under the drapping ? Thank you for understanding.

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Amanda
12/2/2016 12:58:31 pm

Undress to your comfort level means just that. You can take everything off, leave everything on, or anything in between. I generally tell people that if they would be uncomfortable without a specific article of clothing, to leave it on. If you prefer to be nude under the drape, that is perfectly acceptable.

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Anna Aithein link
1/7/2017 01:19:19 am

Really excellent post.
Thanks.

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Philani
1/8/2017 06:57:07 am

Thanks for the post ,I have never been there before but now I know how to behave and most of the things I wasn't sure of are clear now.

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scott link
1/17/2017 01:05:57 pm

I like that you suggest to make sure that you are clean before you go in for your massage. I can see why it would be really unpleasant for the massage therapist to have to touch someone that is all dirty and gross. My friend gets a massage every 6 months or so. I'll have to ask her if she has any tips to make it a better experience for everyone.

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Ronald
3/7/2017 08:48:31 am

I have a question. Is it proper to ask the therapist for a no cover? I know that the sheets seem to get in the way so I was just wondering if it would be proper to us for a no cover? This is nothing sexual it would be my preference I do not know if she would be comfortable with that.

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Amanda
3/7/2017 10:54:16 am

Hi Ronald. It really doesn't matter what your intention is, it is illegal to perform undraped massage in the United States. Other countries have their own rules, but here it is against the law. You can ask to remove any extra blankets on the table, or request a towel instead of a sheet if you would like a smaller drape.

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Tim
4/1/2017 01:00:35 pm

I had my first massage the other day and I didn't know weather or not I should remove my underware. Staying on the safe side and not wanting to do anything wrong or make her think I wanted anything other than a massage, I left them on. Was I right?

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Amanda link
4/3/2017 10:34:26 pm

Hi Tim. As massage therapists, we are used to working with people who remove none of their clothes, all of their clothes, or anything in between. The most important thing is how you interact with your massage therapist. If you behave inappropriately (make lewd comments, grab your therapist, masturbate on the table, etc.) the massage should be ended and appropriate measures should be taken. If you do not do anything inappropriate, your massage therapist should have no reason to think that you are there for anything other than a massage. As long as the latter situation is the case, the most important thing is your comfort. I generally tell people that if you know you will feel uncomfortable taking off any garment, leave it on. If not, it is really up to you.

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Dawie
4/19/2017 03:33:53 am

Good day Amanda , as most of of the clients , what can a client do if a massage takes a toll for example , massage therapist gets sexualy active with you while the massage is in progress , what can a client do from her or his point of view to not make it happen again , what are the steps that a client can take towards a therapist if their are sighns of sexual contact from the therapist side thank you.

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Amanda link
4/19/2017 10:30:57 am

Thank you for your question Dawie. If you have a massage therapist who seems to be making inappropriate advances toward you, the first thing to do would be acknowledge it and ask them to stop without being accusatory. Depending on what exactly they are doing, they may or may not have sexual intentions. For example. A therapist working on your inner thigh may just be accessing your adductor muscle group, and if you feel that it is inappropriate, say "I'm not comfortable with this technique, can you please work somewhere else." If it continues, or if it is overtly sexual (touching your genitals, making sexual remarks, dressing in lingere or taking any of their clothes off...), end the massage immediately and complain to their boss. You can also report them to their professional licensing board or to the police. To find their licensing board just do a quick internet search for "professional massage licensing board (your state)". There is NEVER an instance where it is ok for either a massage client or therapist to make sexual advances toward the other in a professional setting (in a dating situation or with a significant other where money isn't being exchanged is a bit of a gray area ethically). Unfortunately, the massage industry is sometimes used as a front for illicit activities like human trafficking. If you think this may be the case, check out https://polarisproject.org/recognize-signs for the signs of human trafficking, and contact the human trafficking hotline at 1-888-373-7888 or text HELP to BeFree (233733). If it doesn't seem like human trafficking, you can report your claims to the police or seek to have disciplinary actions taken with the therapist in question. The easiest way to prevent that happening again, is to not go back to that place/therapist. Before seeing a massage therapist, do a bit of homework. Check out my other post about finding the right massage therapist for you here: http://www.massageanddoula.com/blog/finding-the-right-massage-therapist

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Dawie
4/21/2017 04:23:24 am

Thank you for your detailed reply , it really helps me to know what can and may not be done in the massage place thank you once again.

Massage Spa Bruxelles link
9/18/2017 03:53:44 am

Yes first acknowledge the massage therapist and if seems to be making inappropriate advances toward you , ask them immediately to stop doing that. Ask them about to do the massage and not to do such creepy things....

John Mahoney link
5/24/2017 11:12:38 am

It really helped when you talked about making sure you communicate with your masseuse as you get your massage. I am planning on taking my wife to a couple's massage for our anniversary and want to make sure we are prepared for it. As I see it, it is worth it to take the time to plan ahead and contact the person that will give you the massage to make sure you know what you need to do to prepare for it.

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Melissa link
6/9/2017 09:14:19 pm

Great post on do's and don't of massage ettiquette! I love it! As a massage therapist for over 14 years I totally can relate. I hate it when guys try to say something offensive to us or ask for a " happy ending! " I tell them Really? Ok let me call my husband and ask him. He works for metro police downtown. I'm sure he will charge you for asking me these stupid questions! Now then do you want me to finish this massage therapeutically or are you done? Either way you are paying me the full price or Ill call him and you will be arrested and charged. This weeds out the idiots for me lol! :)

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Leviticus Bennett link
6/14/2017 10:31:47 am

I like your tip to turn off my cell phone so that the obnoxious noises don't distract me and cause me to tense up automatically like you mentioned. Tomorrow I'm planning on getting a massage for the first time. I'm not sure what to expect, so thanks so much for all of the helpful tips.

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Georgia B link
9/30/2017 10:07:56 pm

I love your tip to turn off your cell phone when you're getting a massage! I can definitely see how it would be a hindrance to the focus of the massage therapist. However, it would be so nice to disconnect from the outside world and be able to fully focus on the healing and relaxation that come from a massage session!

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Pamela
10/20/2017 02:03:47 am

Hi I live nearby I suffer from chronic pain Herniated disk4&5 Fibromyalgia zzz do you think you could help with,pain management and I,know of course to shower,make up on,face yes or nol

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Amanda link
10/20/2017 06:29:39 am

While I do not specialize in fibromyalgia, I do see clients who have it and get some pain management benefits from it. There are a lot of factors to consider such as how severe is the pain, how often do you have flare ups, what are your symptoms, etc. because it is an autoimmune disorder, and therefore cases can differ widely. If you would like to come in for a session, you can let me know when you are available. I am in my office Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of each week from 10-5. You can also book online at https://wmt.janeapp.com/ . As for makeup, I generally suggest that people not wear makeup. It has been known to stain my linens, and after lying face down and/or having your face massaged, it can often smear.

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Dawie
11/1/2017 05:35:15 pm

Good day Amanda i just want to know , does a massage therapist have the right to comment on the tipe of underwear that you wear as a client?. Because i received a comment that made me feel embarrassed about the underwear that i wear as a male , (i do wear male thongs) yes , but does that give a massage therapist the right to comment about the tipe of underwear i wear ?
and can this be seen as a sexual offence in the massage place?
thank you for understanding.

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Mollie
11/30/2017 06:27:01 am

Hi. Is it dangerous to get a massage when getting over a stomache bug? I recently went in from one and am noticing some skin soreness that has been prolonged.

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Amanda link
11/30/2017 10:37:05 am

Hi Mollie, When you are getting over a virus you may experience your symptoms getting a bit worse before they get better. Often massage during recovery from a virus can lead to a shorter but more intense recovery time. You should never receive massage when you have a fever or when you are experiencing nausea or diarrhea. I cannot think of any reason why massage after a stomach bug would have an effect on your skin. Was the massage therapist using a lot of deep pressure work? If so, deep pressure (not deep tissue) causes damage in a healthy person, for someone in a slightly weakened state, it could be that a lot of bruising occurred.

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Mollie
12/10/2017 02:20:24 am

Thank you so much for your response. Yes, there was a lot of pressure, and the therapist noted that my muscles were "tight". Not sure if this triggered something but I have noticed continued muscles spasms in different areas of my body that have not give away m, specifically my legs. I did have a prior injury on my lower back so I'm not sure if this g It triggered as well. The massage has been about 4mos ago and I'm at a loss of what to do. The spasms in my leg have been affecting my sleep. Doctor said to drink more water but I have been doing this and have not noticed a difference.

Dee
11/30/2017 07:21:33 am

Hi Amanda, I really enjoyed reading your article. I would value your advice on my situation. I have been seeing a very good massage therapist for two years quite regularly. He has started increasing his marketing efforts in the past few months and I can see he has more clients. In our latest appointments I have ended up waiting 10-15 minutes past my appointment time. Each time there is no apology or comment about it. The first time it happened he was 15 minutes late and ended up stopping the massage 5 minutes early. The second time he was 10 minutes late, gave me my full time, but when he came back into the room, he had his winter coat on and obviously wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

I think I must be one of his better clients, I am always punctual, clean, respectful, book regularly with no cancellations, I pay cash and tip generously. Before this, his other client's appointments have never impacted on mine. I have never felt rushed or waited. Punctuality is a pet peeve for me and I get tense when I am kept waiting for a timed service. I'm always wondering if I will get my full time, etc. but beyond that I would like him to respect that my time is valuable too. It think it shows professionalism to be punctual and it is hard for me to de-program myself in that thinking.

However, when someone keeps me waiting and apologizes, it makes the world of difference, it makes me feel like they care and are aware of the inconvenience. But he says nothing. My experience with people who keep you waiting and say nothing is that they don't "get it", and I am worried that I will just come off looking intolerant if I open a discussion about it.

He works out of a studio as an independent and rents the massage rooms. Is it fair to guess that with his increased clientele he is trying to save money by booking the appointments closer together? Whatever time he is giving, it is obviously not enough.

I've already started to postpone making another appointment with him and have seen other massage therapists who I have wanted to try for a while. But I don't want to just disappear as a client and not say anything. Those sessions are meant to be my relaxation time and having this discussion about how he should schedule his clients is anything but relaxing. When we make appointments we do it by messaging. Would it be fair to word my request for a certain time by adding the comment "I would prefer to have a time when your schedule is not so busy/congested." I would value any advice you have on this subject.

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Amanda link
11/30/2017 11:13:01 am

Hi Dee. I completely understand your frustration. I have had practitioners keep me waiting before, and it is irritating. Perhaps you should speak with him and let him know how you are feeling. Write down what you want to say, or send it in an email. Let him know that it is your time to relax and feel cared for, but that when he is running late it makes you stressed, and when you feel like you need to rush to leave, you don't feel cared for. Tell him that if he is going to be running late, an apology or "thank you for your patience" can change how you feel about it. Try not to be accusatory, but let him know that although he is a very good massage therapist you have been considering other options because it feels like he doesn't have the time to dedicate to his clients anymore.

Chances are, you are not the only person who is feeling this way, and perhaps he is even feeling the strain. You mentioned that he has been marketing more to bring in new clients, maybe it has backfired a bit. I ran a Groupon a couple of years ago that took me a good year and a half or so to recover from. They sold way more than I was able to accommodate. For a while, I was booked solid 3 months out. I felt like I did not have the time to work with my clients, was not remembering people, and had regulars who had to wait longer than they should have to get an appointment. I started blocking out a few appointment slots every week to accommodate my regulars or give myself a break which was really helpful, but it took another massage therapist recommending that I do it for me to think of it. He may be running into a similar situation and feel just as bad about it.

When it comes to being late, he may be trying to accommodate late clients as well. When I started my practice, I had clients who would come in 10-20 minutes late and still expect the amount of time they requested. I finally had to put a policy in place that I stick to. Clients are not just booking an hour of my time, they are booking a specific hour. When that hour is up, so is our time. If someone is late, it comes out of their massage time. I have had a few people be really upset about this. One very badly behaved woman walked out without paying when she found out that I wouldn't accommodate her being 20 minutes late and give her extra time. Most people understand though, and I have my policy clearly stated on my website and in the reminder emails clients receive. I also leave 30 minutes between each client to give myself time to turn over the room and prepare for my next client. That also allows me to accommodate clients who tend to be early.

So in summation, talk to him but don't be accusatory. Have possible solutions like apologizing for running late, developing a policy for late clients, or leaving a bit more time between clients. When you make an appointment, I would absolutely ask about times when his schedule is a bit more open. Hope this was helpful.

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Dee
11/30/2017 12:04:49 pm

Amanda, thank you very much for your response. You have provided a lot of insight and I appreciate your advice!

Kyle Wayne link
1/18/2018 02:49:35 pm

I thought it was interesting that you talked about trying to get there early enough that you'll have enough time to get ready so you can start the massage at the exact time you scheduled. My wife wants to get a full body massage but it's her first time so she's looking for tips to make it better. I'll be sure to talk to her about getting there just early enough to be ready on time.

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Crystal
1/23/2018 07:16:55 am

My legs stay broken out. My husband got me a gift certificate for a massage for Christmas over a year ago but I've been waiting for them to clear up and heal, which doesn't really happen for long. Can I simply wear leggings throughout the massage? It isn't a contagious condition, so would keeping my legs covered be enough of a precaution?

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Amanda link
1/23/2018 10:48:57 am

Hi Crystal. My feelings are as long as it isn't contagious, I'm not too worried. My biggest concern as a massage therapist would be whether or not you experienced discomfort from the breakouts, in which case, I would modify my work or not do work in those areas when broken out if necessary. If you feel more comfortable wearing leggings, that is fine too, but don't worry about doing so for the comfort of the therapist. I work with people who have psoriasis, eczema, acne, dermatitis, and other skin conditions, so I am not bothered by it.

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JodyA
2/3/2018 08:15:25 pm

This is a wonderful article. Thanks for posting it.

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Massage Spa Bruxelles link
2/21/2018 04:38:49 am

I am glad to know these things which are essential for every spa owner to keep in mind for taking their business to the top.Thanks for sharing !!

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Gail Davis link
3/7/2018 09:08:42 am

Excellent info thank you ! I hope I find someone who is the same as you in your field . You are very wise .

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Ubah link
3/11/2018 02:12:01 pm

You are on point with this post and I love your tips. What I do is combine my sessions with massage therapist to buying and using a full body massager.
At least I don't have to go to a therapist every time I need to have a massage.

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Melissa link
3/23/2018 09:39:38 am

Yayyy YES good post! I agree with you on everything! You got the nail on the head! Seriously put clients need to take noted lol! Thank You for sharing ❤

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Dave link
3/31/2018 01:10:07 am

So much truth in this article! If only the client could imagine being in the therapists shoes for a moment before the massage begins. I'd hope this would result in more people having a greater deal of courtesy and professionalism when coming in for a session. Wonderful piece of writing Amanda. It really helps solidify my own beliefs on the do's and don'ts of a massage. Thanks!

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Amelie James link
4/16/2018 06:04:36 am

great post! keep writing

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AJ
4/21/2018 01:57:39 pm

This helped alot! Eve reading some of the questions and answers were very helpful. I. Going in for my first professional 60min massage and hoping for the best. I get ticklish sometimes doe si well see haha

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Burt Silver link
4/25/2018 12:58:57 pm

I like how you list specific DOs and DON'Ts about getting a massage and how you should communicate so that the massage therapist can know what you are feeling. It's also good that you mention to not be a "helper" when receiving a massage and how you should fully relax. A lot of the time it's hard for me to entirely relax with a massage because I feel so vulnerable but I'll have to keep that in mind. I haven't had a massage in a long time, I think I should definitely get one soon because I think it will help me with my stress and muscle tension.

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Emery Jean link
5/14/2018 11:56:25 pm

I do like it when you mentioned making sure that the body is fully clean before showing up for a massage therapy so as to not be rude. The boss of the company I work for is planning to get a massage therapist for the employees. Though I am pretty confident that everyone will be coming in clean, I guess it can't hurt to still inform them to be sure. Thanks!

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Bella Hardy link
5/17/2018 11:21:47 am

I love massages so much! There’s nothing better than getting a massage. I am so glad that I found this helpful post.

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Max Sayer link
5/22/2018 11:14:04 am

Lately, I have had a lot of stress so I wanted to look into getting a message. I really appreciated these tips especially turning off my cell phone. Getting out of that space of relaxation would make it harder to have a good massage.

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Penelope Smith link
6/19/2018 11:07:04 pm

This is some really good information about massages. I liked that you talked about how you should try to relax your body when you are on the table. That does seem like it would make the process go better. Personally, relaxing would be a hard thing for me to do.

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Ridley link
6/25/2018 01:26:41 pm

It's good to know more about getting a massage because I think it's a good idea. I didn't know that a massage therapist isn't a masseuse. That's probably good to know so that I can be nice and sound professional.

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Dawie
6/28/2018 02:42:25 am

Good day ,does a massage establishment have some sort of privacy and confidentiality agreement towards their clients? And if thay do what does the agreements consist of?

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Mary
7/22/2018 10:57:29 am

I am going for my first massage...what must i expect and wear for a back massage?

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Arya Smith link
10/5/2018 07:49:14 pm

Thanks for helping me understand that the massage will start after 5 to 10 mins. of preparation, so it is advisable to be there 15 mins. before. I will keep this in mind when I have booked a session since I have a habit of arriving on the dot. I just need this therapy to alleviate the pain in my lower back due to lifting a box the wrong way last Monday.

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Dean Phillips link
2/6/2019 08:02:24 pm

I liked how in the article you mentioned that answering a phone can remove you from a space of relaxation. I am always on my phone for my job, which might explain why I feel a lot of stress. It's fascinating that we can easily reduce our stress just by spending less time on our phone.

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Sam Li link
3/27/2019 02:33:56 pm

I love what you said about using proper terminology during your massage. I believe that massage therapy is a great way to relax. If I were to need a massage, I would make sure to find the best business around.

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Fiona
6/30/2019 05:19:38 pm

A great post!

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Kristy Miller link
8/1/2019 01:36:53 am

Hey Amanda

One of the best articles about 10 Do's and Don't's of Getting a Massage is this article. I think your article is perfectly reasonable and informative. I fully support the arguments you make regarding 10 Do's and Don't's of Getting a Massage in your article. The arguments you put forth in your article are completely new to me, and I have not seen it anywhere else.
To be private, I am a health and fitness blogger. I am very happy to know that I can point out the arguments you have put in your blog as a source on my blog.
I love the content and style of your article writing. Looking forward to some good articles like yours.

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Adhira
8/5/2019 12:45:20 am

Usually I never comment on blogs but your article is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it. You’re doing a great job Man,Keep it up.

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Marie
9/30/2019 09:48:28 am

Hello, I'm due for my first massage tomorrow but my period came. Is it ok for me to go still? Do I need to inform the therapist?

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Amanda Tarver
9/30/2019 10:57:38 am

That is an excellent question! Yes, it is perfectly safe for you to get a massage even when you are on your period. There is no real reason you would need to inform the therapist unless it were to inform the type of work you would like to receive. So, for example, if you are experiencing menstrual cramps, backache, constipation, etc. related to your period, you could ask to have those things addressed. Some people also have sensitivities to certain smells during menstruation, so if that is the case, you can let them know as well.

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Jaime
2/7/2020 09:40:34 am

Hi!
Thank you so much for this informative post. I am going in for my first massage and was curious, I know its a good practice to turn off your cell phone But I was considering listening to music on one or both of my wireless headphones during my massage, Should I refrain from doing this?

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Amanda Tarver link
2/7/2020 11:08:58 am

Hi Jaime. Thanks for your question. Most massage therapists have relaxing music playing in the room already, so headphones generally aren't necessary. Depending on where you go, you may be able to request the type of music playing or even share your playlist to listen to during your massage. Some establishments have the same music playing in every room and it cannot be switched, but if your practitioner has control over the music in the room, most are happy to let you pick what is playing. Also remember that you are interacting with another human. Wearing wireless headphones sends a message that you are disconnecting from that person or trying to tune them out, which may make it feel more awkward for the massage therapist to address you when necessary.

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Zoe Campos link
4/10/2020 10:16:59 pm

Thank you for telling me to always try to relax my body for my massage therapy sessions since I'm helping my therapist by doing so. My sister told me she won coupons for a free session and can bring another person with her. I'll try my best not to do anything unless my therapist says so and enjoy my first massage session.

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Barb
12/18/2020 04:30:27 pm

I was wondering if this stuff is inappropriate for a woman therapist to do to another woman? I’ve been getting a Myofascial release neck shoulders back, she’s an older women 50”s maybe. Been doing for a long x. I take bra off as requested that’s fine however when she does the massage all the x my breast will be exposed part of nipple not whole breast and she never pulls up sheet. I do it half up . I know she’s busy working on knots . Is this normal just wondering . I would hate to think this whole x This isn’t normal being I have nothing to compare it with. Ty:)

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Amanda Tarver link
12/19/2020 10:40:41 am

Hi Barb,

Thank you for your excellent question. I wouldn't worry too much. The rules governing breast massage are pretty relaxed in most places, and unless you live in one of the states that restricts massage on breasts it should be fine. The most important things to consider regarding your question are the therapist's intent and how the massage makes you feel. If the work on your breasts makes you feel uncomfortable, then that is a problem. No massage should ever make you feel uncomfortable or should leave you questioning its appropriateness. As for the intent of the therapist, it sounds like she is incorporating work around the breasts to release the connective tissue throughout your chest, which will affect your neck, shoulders, and back. Most of us can tell the difference between trained professional touch, and groping.

I would also like to note that you should always feel like you are in control. If it makes you feel uncomfortable to be exposed like that, just let your therapist know. Tell her you would be more comfortable if the drape were pulled up higher to cover your nipples/breast tissue. Any therapist should be understanding that everyone has different comfort levels. You also do not HAVE to take your bra off if you don't wish to, although I think you said you were fine with that. I have people leave bras on sometimes, especially if it is their first massage, and I can work around them just fine. In my practice, I use a chest drape if I need to expose any part of the front torso. I try to be good about asking about client comfort before I undrape any area on the front of the torso, but not all therapists ask, especially those who have been doing the work for longer. It sounds like there is no ill intent involved, so don't be afraid to speak up if it makes you feel odd. If it is something that you have always been ok with and are just curious, then there is no need to change anything about your interactions.

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Barb
12/20/2020 12:19:11 am

Ty so much for your quick response. I appreciate you taking x answering. I do feel a tad uncomfortable. But You said if she’s been doing for a long x she might not ask. She has been at it long. I feel much better having your input. I feel more comfortable for next x. Ty and have a Merry Christmas! Or Happy Holiday!

Florida Chinese link
1/29/2021 03:43:52 pm

Nice bllog

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    Amanda Tarver, LMT, CEIM, PES, CD(DONA), RMT

    Meet the Author

    Amanda Tarver, (LMT, CEIM, PES, RMT) is a massage therapist and birth worker in the Chicago area.  She is dedicated to using a combination of bodywork and education to help people live a better quality of life.

    Amanda opened Women's Massage Therapy in 2011 and has enjoyed bringing quality services to people in Chicago's North Shore ever since.  In 2020, she debuted a series of virtual services to help bring those services to people around the globe.

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Women's Massage Therapy has been providing quality services to people and families in Chicago and the North Shore since 2011. Come in for a relaxing massage therapy or Reiki session, or develop a treatment plan to target specific concerns. New parents and pregnant individuals can choose between pregnancy, labor, and postpartum massage therapy options, find a birth doula, take infant massage classes and more!  NEW virtual options available for all services.

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